I’ve NEVER been called a victim before, and for good reason!  Heck, I’m a strong man, successful, father of the three best humans ever made and husband to the greatest woman alive. Victim?  I think not.  No one would EVER say that to me, until about 10 months ago…

It came out of no where in one of those conversations where you’re failing to get your point across over the phone and it gets real raw and perhaps your inner child peeks out just a liiiitle too far.  :-l  You know what I’m talking about.  I was speaking (arguing) with someone I truly admire trying to get MY point across, all the while they were stuck on their’s (the nerve…) and suddenly, out of no where, while I was trying to “help” the current situation they said emphatically, “Jared, I think you’re coming at this from a victimized state.”  GASP!  “What!?” I said.  “That’s NOT what is going on here, I’m no victim!  I’m merely pointing out some things that are affecting…”  Aaaaanyways, the rest of the conversation was mostly a train wreck aka better left unsaid.  For some reason we weren’t seeing eye to eye and TBH I hung up scratching my head knowing I wasn’t coming from a state of victimization but it did get me thinking….

Since then I’ve mostly thought about how I’m NOT a victim.  I’ve been successful, I’ve been nice, I’ve been strong, I’ve been giving (and the list goes on of what I’ve been, lemme tell ya 🙂  and aaaalllll that despite what I’ve had to overcome.  “Wait, stop…. CRAP!  I am a victim!  Please dear God tell me he wasn’t even the LEAST bit right during that conversation!”  (scrolls back over the flickering movie reel of that 10 month old conversation)  “Shoot!  He was partially right! (can’t let him be totally right).”  You see, I HAVE been a victim, just a really good one!!  Problem is, the really good ones are the worst kind….

Like anything in life, we have trouble distinguishing or categorizing the subtle.  We’re pretty good at avoiding the mopey, “stuck” person in the corner of the party,  immediately having flashbacks of the many stories he’s trapped you with all of life’s injustices done to him.  But how good are we at noticing it in ourselves, especially when we’re sure we’ve beaten it?  I noticed by paying attention to myself telling others my story…

If you know me (which you totally should!)  you’ll no doubt either hear my whole story over a beverage or meal, or at least pick up on parts of it just hanging around.  I’ve ALWAYS been a huge fan of telling the greatest story ever written – mine.  It usually starts with where I was born, and how I was born into a middle class family with great Christmas mornings filled with lots of toys and then spirals downward quickly when this line comes out, “My dad left when I was 11…”  I mean, it is true – he did.  But the other day I caught myself and thought, “well that’s a sad way of putting it.  Why the heck don’t I just say, ‘my parents split’ or ‘things didn’t work out between my parents'”  I mean, cry me a river, my parents divorced when I was a teenager.  The way I start my story out would make it seem like no one else in the room has ANY idea of what I went through.  My parents were hurt people with broken parts that didn’t possess the tools to put the pieces all back together again.  I was collateral damage yes, but a victim?

Like I said earlier – subtle.  With my wording I immediately capture the listener and begin my tale of overcoming great adversity to become what you see before me – something perhaps greater than I really am.  I’ve used victimization to provide the listener with perspective.  If you weren’t impressed by me or my accomplishments before, you surely will be after you hear what I had to overcome to get here!

So how does your story start out?  Do things happen to you, or were they really just peripheral circumstances that just so happened to affect your life too?  The quicker we get over the ‘things that happened to us’ and get on with ‘things we’re going to happen to’ the sooner we move on and conquer the guy moping in the corner inside of us all.

So today, right now, look down at your right hand.  Open your palm staring at the lines God made that go left and right, top to bottom.  Envision that you’re holding everything that has happened to you in your lifetime in the palm of your hand, just as God is holding you in the palm of His.  Clench your fist tight, stretch your arm out in front of you, take a deep breath and slowly open your fingers, letting go of all of those things.  Watch them float away because they’re the past, and the future is waiting on you…

If you’re reading this – you’re loved. GOSH you’re loved.

Let it go.

He restoreth my soul…   psalm 23:3a

j

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